I will often explain ABA to new clients/families by saying ABA therapy isn’t easy to do, but it doesn’t have to be difficult. What I am very careful not to say is that ABA isn’t hard.
It is hard.
It can be very hard.
Many strategies and
techniques we use as ABA professionals have taken us graduate level coursework,
years of experience, and a super thick skin to implement correctly. The average
busy and multitasking parent isn’t quite ready for what ABA can fully entail, and the changes that will be necessary for their
whole household.
When I say ABA doesn’t have
to be difficult, I mean that an experienced and quality
BCBA/Consultant/Supervisor will have the skills to present complicated concepts
to a parent or teacher in a lively way, thoroughly define and explain
strategies, and reinforce effort to promote learning. The right professional
should make you feel supported and encouraged, and when they need to correct or
modify your behavior they do so tactfully with a great deal of patience.
When I say ABA isn’t easy,
I mean just that. ABA is often the opposite of “taking the easy road”. Many
times as you are on the ABA therapy journey you will have the choice to do what
feels easy or “right” or to do what feels difficult or “wrong”.
As a professional I face
that same choice. Am I going to roll up
my sleeves and do the work necessary to help my client be successful, or am I
going to shrug and say “Well, that’s close enough”.
I think much of discipline
or behavior change in general requires changing your mind about what you as the
parent or teacher are capable of, what the child is capable of, what behaviors
you are willing to accept, and what behaviors you are NOT willing to accept.
What can initially seem like a fairly easy way out of a tricky behavioral
situation, can cost you much more effort, pain, or frustration in the long
run. It’s similar to eating fast food:
in the moment it’s cheap, quick, and easy. But over time, it has an impact on
your health and your waistline.
So the next time you are
facing behavioral challenges in your child and have various choices of how to
respond running through your head, pay attention to the ones that seem the most
challenging, time consuming, or difficult. Those choices are likely what an ABA
professional would recommend you do.
Here are a few examples I
see fairly often, of being faced with that Hard or Easy Choice.
BEHAVIOR
|
EASY CHOICE
|
HARD CHOICE
|
Child is
screaming at you that they hate you and calling you names
|
Yell back at the child that they can’t talk to you that way
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Once the child is calm, talk to them about why they feel that way and LISTEN to what they say
|
Child is
refusing to stay seated at the dinner table
|
Promise
the child they can have the Ipad for the rest of the night if they will come back and sit down
|
Get up and bring the child back to the dinner table every single time they leave. Offer praise and encouragement when they stay in their chair. Redirect them with conversation, songs, or by reading a book to them so they are motivated to sit
|
On a
long car trip, the child is engaging in repetitive “junk” talk about boobs
and butts
|
Crank
the radio up super loud to drown out the “junk” talk
|
Begin engaging in fun talk and jokes with other people in the car. Remind the child you are happy to talk to them when they are done with the "junk" talk
|
At a
family function your toddler begins to cry and tantrum. You aren’t sure how
best to respond, but people are beginning to stare.
|
Quickly grab your child and leave the family function
|
Wait, and do not attend to the behavior. If you don’t know how to
respond then do nothing. Quietly wait for calm, as you decide how best to
intervene. Is the child hot? Tired? Ill? Uncomfortable? Why are they upset, and what might they need?
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